This statement let me think about the artists’ work. It was supposed to be fun on social media so I think it’s better to write something not so much fun here.

First I have to say this “try to…” is very mid-class-centered hypnosis. A lot of people don’t need to “try” this, they indeed don’t need art during Covid-19 outbreak. Some people are busy looking for recipes to save food and feed their families; some people are calculating how to survive with minus income; some people are stuck in a city where they can’t find a job, some of them even sold their mobile phones for buying one meal per day. For them, to survive already consumed most of their energy, even they have the time and money, they may still prefer something easy, light and funny, which has way too little content to be considered as art.

What could that be called? Entertainment I guess. Actually, even a lot of people who are now working from home also need simply entertainment more than art (I’m so surprised that someone would suppose everyone are just being bored at home). As you can see, even the one who wrote the statement has included porn in this group. Of course, you could make porn art, but what the statement here expressed, apparently is not a new possibility for porn, but degrading art to the same as entertainment.

Should art be entertaining? It could be, but it’s not the reason that artists exist. Among the comments of the post, there was one questioning, if we only enjoy the art before 1988, are the current artists “useless”? It reminded me of the situation in my conservatory in Shanghai and a general mindset of Chinese people in my parents’ generation. They’re always very realistic and materialistic, they always ask, what’s the “use” of doing something? My department in my conservatory is famous for its graduates‘ carrier, it means how many graduates have a job directly after they finished their studies, and how much they earn. We care a lot about, how much my song can be sold? If I work for film production, how much is it for one second of my music? And if I can’t let my music sold well, what can I do as my second, third and fourth job? With this mindset, a lot of students have chosen to give up music even before their graduation. Ironically, it was part of the reason why the graduates’ carrier was the best in the conservatory: simply because some of the graduates stopped doing music.

If art can’t be sold the same as entertainment, it shouldn’t be valued for its other “functions” as well. In another word, art is not practical, and to some extend, useless.

But does it mean artists are useless? We express the feeling and thoughts an individual could have, we reflect the past and we record the time. If it’s not enough, we appeal to people what should be changed. And most of us are or used to be the living examples of a vulnerable majority, but we are trying hard to save our energy from surviving to send a message to the world.

We shouldn’t stop working because some people think we are useless. Our work is exactly for changing the world gradually, and at some point, more people will be able to have a safe place to live, adequate food, fair work condition, medicine, old care, and education to enjoy the artworks we create. Don’t expect the influence will effect soon, think of the artists before 1988, they may not know, it turned out that they were not useless.

Moreover, there is an important fact that a lot of people don’t go to art event only for the art but for meeting people. And these people may not enjoy art themselves alone at home as well. Will you be too upset to keep doing art for that?

I made it to have online German lessons. It followed another two meetings in afternoon and evening, I feel like everyone is pretending hard that we’re still in normal life, or it’s just me being lazy (again).

Before my last meeting, Amazon Fresh arrived!

And typical online shopping mistakes… But no worry I still have some small bottles shower gel and 2 in 1 wash gel from my former travels.

I checked again the Amazon Fresh delivery time, seems it’s not possible to get another delivery from now to end of April in my area. So I guess I will have to go out at least once next month. I suppose the quarantine will last around 2 months, I know it’s not very optimistic, but since it’s a global issue and the virus has its nature, a long quarantine seems is inevitable.

Dinner: typical dish by me: boiled f**king random things. But with 2 eggs! Thanks Amazon Fresh!

26.03.2020

German lesson, simple lunch (means noodle gratin of course!) and some necessary work for #pajamaopera and other projects which are still not cancelled. After that I was already tired.

After a long break I cut my fringe myself. I’m planning my hairstyle in 2 month now. I guess I will have the most hair length since 2011, so perhaps I will review some hairstyle for long hair later. It must be nostalgic. I’m excited like when I was in kindergarten and got a doll whose hair is made for being played by children.

I’m still not bored, still feeling time is not enough. A friend called me for some computer help and he said he was happy that he can drive to a student’s place to give a lesson because he can go out of home for a while. It’s unbelievable that going out of home makes working attractive. But thanks to these people who love freedom in a more physical way, they helped to build an opener society in a indirect way.

There was again the online department meeting today. I didn’t speak anything, but it’s good to have a reason to start a day in morning, change something not pajama and go to studio before 12:00.

I missed the online course again, I had a tiring dream. But I promised the teacher I will appear tomorrow. It’s at least another reason to start a day in morning.

Vodafone tells us to stay home too. It’s a bit like the countdown in high school before the university entrance exam, reminding people something they are apparently already aware every minute.

I decided to write this “Quarantine Notes”. Not dairy but notes, for following reason: first I can’t write it everyday, when I write for past days I need to check my photos, messages and news to help me write the correct date; secondly I’m not interested in EVERYTHING happened in a day, but only things and feelings still have impact after days (that’s also one of the reasons I don’t write diary in general).

Guo Jing’s diary during her quarantine in Wuhan was the most impressing one for me among different kinds of quarantine records. But another motivation of writing this is that these days I received everyday some message from my friends in other countries. As I mentioned in former Quarantine Notes, there is always a gap of information between people in different environments. I hope through showing my real life here, they can have less unnecessary worry about me.

Just remembered, some days ago there was a man at the door to ask for small change (Kleingeld). I was a bit afraid and I indeed don’t have cash (since about two weeks ago it’s recommended to pay with card). But how is the situation with homeless people now? I guess he is just one of the beggars who used “work” in trains but now also “jobless”? I can see that he has some illness with his tongue and he couldn’t speak very clearly.

Again I had very luxury veggie nuggets + vegetable soup + bread dinner. Tomorrow the Amazon Fresh delivery will arrive, they already sent me an email to tell me that I should hold distance with the delivery person. I’m looking forward to it.

Another noodle gratin. I omitted some ingredients to save food, and now I don’t want to eat anything after I had one portion of this gratin.

Now it’s the official “Contact Prohibition” (Kontaktverbot) time. I feel somehow very releasing, it’s finally not only me not contacting people. I’ve seen a story of an OCD (Obsessive culpulsive disorder) patient, he said during the Covid-19 outbreak he feels so good. Because everyone is frequently washing hands, and he just does better than other. The last time he was so happy was during the SARS outbreak. I don’t think my daily life before Covid-19 was quarantine because I really try hard to not isolate myself. It brings good results but it takes also a lot of energy. After the quarantine I will keep trying contacting with people, it’s just me being lazy and non-ambitious while some people are upset. Both are not great.

I’m very against to the statement like “Covid-19 reduced the pollution”, or “Covid-19 gave people more family time” so “you should feel good for quarantine”. To force factory stop or to force family members to stay together won’t change anything in long-term. If the factories and the countries don’t have an environmentally friendly system, the pollution will just rebound after the quarantine time. And in China you can already see a lot of couples got divorced after quarantine. Bad relationships will just get worse if you spend more time together without solving the real problems. Finally you can’t force people to feel good if they don’t. I just read about the therapy for mental disease with water in 19th century, we’re modern people, please don’t keep this spirit with you.

These days I restarted with indoor sports, Erhu and reading, but just can’t finish things I planned, even film watching. The online German course started in the middle of last week, but I feel like it’s hard to fit other people’s rhythm now (maybe just hard to have a rhythm). I went through all the online learning materials last night and I got up today before the online class started, but I just don’t have the courage to join. I hope I can start tomorrow. It won’t be too long before I must be back to the human society, better not go too far.

Again a weekend. Comparing to the weekdays, it’s just with fewer cancellation mails.

A internet friend asked for recipe for potato pancake, I sent her one and somehow regret that I didn’t buy potato again after I finished my 1-kg package. But I made Kimchi pancake.

I want to sing the ending song from “ほしのこえ” (The Voices of a Star) very much. The story was about an astronaut floating in universe and can’t be back. She was sending message with her boyfriend on the earth. The far she floats, it takes longer time to send a message. In the end it takes more than 8 years to get one message. I feel the quarantine life is a bit like that. I gradually feel distance from human society, I don’t know when I will meet a friend in real life.

Vappiano is insolvent. It was always an argue to eat Vappiano or rather nothing, but that won’t exist anymore. In China a lot of restaurants shut down forever after the quarantine time. Perhaps similar things will happen here too. After we are able to go out, we don’t know with whom to go out, neither where to go.

I tried to play the song and record but failed always. I had a short talk with a singer whom I said may play something with after 15.03, but now we can only exchange some ideas online. For me it’s easier, but for real collaboration it’s not the best.

It is said that on 22.03 musicians should play “Ode to Joy” at 18:00. There are a lot of comments under Tagesschau’s announcement. “Are musicians going to play free again?” I like that very much.

22.03.2020

On 22.03 I almost did nothing but waited for 18:00, but as expected, nothing happened. When I realized, it’s already 18:13. On social media there were several friends posted their performance online. They have courage, and good neighbor.

I started to use light as less as I can. It was a habitat I got from 90s. That time electricity was more expensive (comparing to people’s income), and we only switch on light when we really can’t see what we have to see. That time we save water also a lot, sometimes we don’t flush the toilet until it’s unbearable. And in middle school I found it’s better to use candle between the “no-need-for-light”time and “must-use-light” time.

I can’t remember how I got both candle, candle holder (these two are probably gifts from friends) and fire the same time and use them alone when I was in middle school. But I’m glad I can do it again. Just use the minimum light to observe how the color of the sky changes.

And luxury instant noodle. I will run out of them soon. Hopefully I will have enough other foods so I don’t want them so badly.

Meanwhile Croatia just had an earthquake. It reminded me what happened in Chengdu, people said “if go out there is virus, if stay inside the building may break, what should we do?” During the pandemic, not having other disaster is already very lucky. I wish people in Croatia stay safe.

Today is the day that Bandcamp doesn’t take benefit from the artists. I wanted to try Bandcamp for long but always didn’t. Not only just because I’m lazy, but also because I don’t know how to position my music on Bandcamp. I don’t want to say “it’s not a place for academic works”, perhaps nowhere is. Leo Steinberg once wrote, if someone start resisting a more thing, they became academic (approximately).

However I’m still not sure what kind music should I post on Bandcamp. I already have Soundcloud and YouTube, I think I should post something different. So finally I just sorted all my short, unpublished experimental music and called them “Sample Set” to see what will happen.

I went through all my school works and former projects, it reminded me a lot of old memories. I once made some electronic interludes for a singer’s recital, and I transferred loudspeakers for her. But the concert date was some days before G20 in Hamburg, so my taxi can only stop at somewhere about 5 metro stations from the concert hall. I was sitting in a family restaurant famous for pork steak and waiting for the singers classmate to move the loudspeakers with me with metro. It was summer in Hamburg, so, a not very “summer” season. It was nice but far, so far that I don’t even miss it.

Recently a lot of memories became like that. I used to refuse to be back to past because they were clearly worse than my current life; but now just because they are too far to tempt me to reach.

I had a rich dinner. Thanks to the supermarket and my friend. It’s almost luxury to have so many kinds of fresh vegetables in one meal.

My next supply will be the Amazon Fresh delivery. I didn’t order any vegetable or fruit because I must wait until end of the month or even next month. I don’t know when I will run out of them. Will I go out for them? It’s future problem anyway.

I got some more concerts and presentations cancelled. One week ago that may still count some news, and now I even don’t want to tell anyone. It became a very normal part of daily life. Thanks to these artists appealed for aids, now solo-freelancers and small business owners can have some financial supports.

My mother got the news from some internet groups and asked me whether it’s true. I told her there is some aids, but not as much as you know. The official media doesn’t report about it, and the information spread through individuals create the gap as well. But perhaps it’s still better to have some partly-true information than nothing or totally wrong.

Here comes the real busy day.

But since quarantine started, my day started always very late. That “go back to bed and answer some message and be addicted to social media” thing happens very often. I was carving glutinous rice (actually already the second time since quarantine) so I made glutinous rice ball with dates and Longan for lunch.

So around 15:30 I saw the message from my friend that her work will end earlier (she sent it in morning but I didn’t notice it). Emergency showering, changing, took mask on… printed a stamp for my letter (yes I just know I can buy stamps online and print them out), and went out. We met in a train station. She said she has bought too much bread and want to give me some, so I went to the kiosk to buy a snack in order to have a paper bag to put her bread. The shop assistant looked at me confusedly, maybe it’s because of the mask, maybe because I’m still not used to talk behind mask so she couldn’t understand me well.

After that I took a train to a supermarket which is a bit far from my place. It’s more centered so perhaps they have more goods on shelves. The friend also took that train. We took 4 seats for 2 people, there were still way more seats than people in that train.

On the way from train station to supermarket, a mid-aged white guy shouted “Coronahase” (Corana rabbit?) at me and laughed. I know some people do that only because they’re young and naive, but at 50 something still doing it, is not tolerable for me at all. I was with mask and it’s still new for me to talk behind it, shouting could be even harder. So I showed him my middle finger and went into the supermarket. I’m not sure whether he would take more action if there were not so many people. Racism is a big topic. It makes sense to have campaigns to raise people’s awareness, but it’s influence will show in far future. For the moment, we must still think about the potential attacks after the Covid-19 quarantine. How should we deal with them?

This supermarket really has everything! But correspondingly there were also much more people than in my neighborhood. I could see the staff is refilling the shelves all the time. I can’t transfer a lot of things myself and it’s too far from my place so I didn’t buy too much. But it’s already a surprise to get fresh vegetables and fruits. I even bought some vegetarian nuggets, it’s written “rice nuggets” so I was expecting something like fried rice ball. Apparently I overestimated the innovation of food here.

Then I carried a backpack and two shopping bags back to the station, put my letter in postbox and bought the medicine in the pharmacy. Yes I got my prescription via post!

I finished all the tasks which need me going out of home, I don’t know when will be the next time. The quarantine is getting real.

People are talking about Merkel’s Speech yesterday, it’s now already in a lot of different language. I’ve heard a small part of it from my landlord’s TV, I thought it be just like a typical government leader’s speech with some already well-know facts. But seeing the part she thanked to supermarket staff, I felt it’s more interesting than expected.

So it comes the busy day.

I got a message that I’d be better to arrive the rehearsal place at 16:45. I understand it’s the last rehearsal in a long time so I want to spend enough time there too. But when I finished the online colloquium at 15:30 I found it’s already too late to arrive there before 17:00.

Searched 5 minutes for trousers to go out; mask, hair tired, gloves. After I prepared, I decided to call a taxi. Partly because I’m being late, partly because it’s the first time after 4 days I went out of home again, I’m not sure how the traffic system was changed. I’ve only seen that people must go on the bus from rear door, and the way to the driver is blocked. But in case there’s any cancellation, I may arrive the rehearsal place when everyone is gone.

The plan of standing at four corner was not very realistic. But they still stopped rehearsing all parts with body contact. I was the only one wearing mast during the rehearsal but I still tried to wear it till the end. During the talking the director also started wearing mask. It was kind of weird, I can’t even drink something there (I didn’t bring a container for the mask so I can’t remove it for a while). But it is indeed not normal time.

On my way back, I already missed the (new) working time of pharmacy, train ticket service and etc. I canceled an appointment with a friend and moved another to tomorrow. We’re going to exchange disinfection spray and masks, that’s urgent.

It’s still possible to buy things from station kiosk or Kebab shop to take away. But I felt a bit stressed to talk with them in mask and take food with gloves(which already exposed outside for half a day). So I just went home and had more noodle gratin.

In morning many of my friends were talking about the curfew in Bavaria (Bayern). Whether a national wide curfew will happen will be decided on Saturday. Some people are happy that German government is taking it seriously; some people are afraid of what will happen in future. I was relatively calm, because I think things are always happening, curfew or not, sooner or later, is just a point of a long process.

Today my presentation in Heidelberg was cancelled. It’s nothing surprising, I was just waiting for it so I would be able to plan something else (perhaps). Everyone is having something cancelled. Musicians are trying to get aid from government. Hard time is coming.

It’s the first Monday after we stopped lesson in university. The plan for online course is still not there. I feel like I should still wait a bit to continue some of my works, because they may be cancelled or postponed at any point.

My department meeting and small colloquium are switched to online meeting. There is a rehearsal scheduled tomorrow but I’m not sure whether I still have to be there.

I’m trying to plan something for daily life in about a month. It’s still not the official quarantine time, but a lot of things are closed, perhaps more things could be closed soon as well. I wrote to the clinic to ask for mailing the receipt, made an order on Amazon Fresh (which will be delivered next week), checked the post I must send.

17.03.2020

I received phone call from the director, my scheduled rehearsal will be moved to the next day. It will also be their last day of rehearsal. Premier is officially postponed because all theater will shut down for unlimited time. They insisted to rehearse till now maybe due to the rehearsal room and the performers’ contract. I heard they’re “rehearsing with distance”, trying to separate four performers in four corners of the room, it’s almost funny but not really.

Two of my friends want to meet me tomorrow for exchanging some goods. We may not meet each other for very long time. But the time online colloquium was changed and I have to go to the rehearsal, seems tomorrow will be a compacted day. I’ve never expected there would still be appointments conflicting on each other in this time.

The same time I started to know what to create with people online. I spent a lot of time with Thies to exchange the idea, mainly about the way to present things. And finally it comes: #pajamaopera After we finished all the conceptualization, there is only a bit more than one day to collect submissions and present it (scheduled at the next night). Will I get something? Do I have time to practice? Tomorrow is even busier now.

Some people from China and other Asian countries are thinking of going back to their home countries. There were also friends asked me whether I’d go back. I think pandemic has it’s law of nature, and in a global time, every place will have to go through it. With more information and better facility, there could be less loss. But approximately we have to go through the same thing. I don’t want to flea from here to there to only enjoy the easier parts of it. I sometimes feel bad that I didn’t help with the situation in China, so if there is a chance I hope I could overcome the difficulty together with people here. Besides, flight is dangerous and very expensive now. I don’t think it worth the risk.