Online meeting at 12, 14 o’clock. Missed the time to cook something better.
I was very frustrated because I couldn’t remember a German word. But after remembering it I feel like I can again do a lot of things.
So practiced instruments, did some organization stuff for #pajamaopera. I should also do some reading and writing and probably learn some program. I always wished I have time for all of them, but now I found perhaps I just don’t have enough enthusiasm. People think I’m energetic because I did a lot of things, but they’re far fewer than what I wanted to do.
12.05.2020
My landlord told me his relatives would be here in afternoon, so I cooked two meal at noon. Simplified Bibimbap, simplified glass noodle bowl. Nothing creative. I don’t have many ingredients to choose and not so much time to think. The two dishes took no more than 30 minutes.
A lot of areas started relaxing the lockdown, probably it’s also why people are reacting to #pajamaopera so actively these days. I will still try to demonstrate what did I mean with “remixing” in the coming live-stream. I hope people will at least get an idea about this project before it ends.
I should also prepare more for the life after quarantine. Rejecting letters, friends with no job and facing expired visa, raising insurance… During lockdown these problems are less important. Without thinking them I could feel like I have the same situation as a 23-year old white boy. Lockdown made most people’s lives worse, so mind didn’t seem so terrible. But it still make sense to let most people’s lives better.
13.05.2020
I think I’ve eaten something bad last night, or it’s just I can’t digest whole wheat toast. It’s so uncomfortable in stomach and I couldn’t sleep well. I watched an online lecture broadcasted from Shanghai around 6:30 and tried to sleep again.
Then the cleaner came, I felt awkward to enter toilet when she’s cleaning so I waited until she left. It’s already 13:00. After that I had some food and tea but still feel not so well in stomach. It’s so depressing to wait more than one hours to go out, mentally and physically it’s just hard. I can’t do almost anything. And I’m worried if I want to eat something except bread after 20:00. I did cooked some noodles for evening but it’s still awkward to take and reheat them after 20:00 when my landlord watching TV. In my life there’s already like 20 years no TV sound, the TV sound, especially a German one, reminding me clearly that I’m in an alien place.
It’s two months now since quarantine. Someone wrote online that in future when she looks for an apartment, she won’t just think “I need a cheap place” but “how would it be to stay in this place for two months”. Clearly I have a different lifestyle from my apartment, it’s still ok if I stay here 8-10 hours a day, but two months is almost on my limit.
If there are reasons that I wish the quarantine stop, that would be the main one.
I planned to go to supermarket again on Monday. But if I can’t eat the whole wheat toast maybe I should go to buy something else tomorrow or Saturday. I regret everyday after last shopping that I didn’t buy oatmeal.
Dong Zhou 