Quarantine Notes 22.04

My landlord was going to city again, so I made the Chives Pancake (葱油饼). It should be much more flatter but I really tried my best. It took about 2 hours to make 5 pieces (the mini one doesn’t count). I heard that there is some frozen ones in Asian Market, after we could freely move I will definitely buy them instead of making them myself. Although I’m not quite sure whether I will still think of this food. Recently I really don’t miss any food, but after eating something I can still be impressed by them.

And I went out! Because I wanted to see someone and there’s no extra contact happened (we both didn’t take public transport).

It’s very amazing to see flowers, ducks, insects and… people. When I walked by an ice-cream shop, there were already full of people in front of it.

Is eating ice-cream prohibited? No. In theory, people can now also take public transport and even meet individually at home. But I still feel these things are very strange. I can’t be so happy when there are a lot of people dying, and everything in future is unsure.

In east Asia the culture it doesn’t encourage people to have fun, and my mother is influenced by it very much. So if there is no special reason, it’s not allowed to have fun. Maybe I’m a bit like that too, but for me there’s also a lot of practical reasons to not have fun for the moment, for example, protecting my landlord (he’s in the high-risk group).

I took one photo on my way. And I thought I could take more photos on the way back, but then it’s too cold and dark and some flowers already rested.

I went to Penny for the first time since 13.03 on my way back. There’s no basket to use but only shopping cart (for keeping the distance), but they are outside of the supermarket so I didn’t take one, just bought a few things and left.

When I was home, my landlord was watching a very important TV program for him and he wants me to not cook during this program. It has been so long that I came back at this time. I found a quinoa snack from my Rossmann order. Luckily it’s not bad.

When my friend talked about plan after the crisis, he mentioned to move a place. And I suddenly recognized, one of the reason I feel like I can’t plan anything after the crisis, is that I’m in this remote house which only suit for ascetic life. If I want to cook longer, invite people, let people stay with me, hold event at home, keep pet, decorate my room differently… I must always first inform my landlord. It’s like, they all need a reason.

Walking on the street, there was a police car passing by. I was thinking, will someone check my document and ask what I’m doing outside? It reminds me when I was in elementary school, I liked it very much to explore different corners with a friend. But there can be a teacher any time appear and ask us, what are you doing there. So we got a solution called “sticker chasing”: my friend had always some stickers with him. If someone asked, he would say that I want to rob his stickers, so he was fleeting without direction; and I could say that the stickers should be mine so I was trying to chase them back.

I don’t like the feeling to always think of a reason. Under this kind of circumstance I feel threatened. For my situation, staying at home means either initially to choose an ascetic life, or always looking for reasons for my non-ascetic activities. I’m still quite ok with the initially chosen ascetic life, and somehow I’m trying to make it even more ascetic. But in long term I will change it.

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